How you LOOK and How you FEEL

STYLE

How you LOOK and How you FEEL

I recently posted a picture on my Instagram (that you can check out here) expressing my thoughts and feelings about a matter that means so much to me...

How you look and how you feel...

Body and weight shaming seems to be getting noticed a lot more lately. Which is absolutely a discussion to be made. Children - especially young girls should not have to go through with hating their bodies. Unfortunately, I've had to deal with body and weight shaming myself... People have made comments about MY weight. As if it's ANYONE else's business but my own. Right? Comments such as "I've noticed you've gained weight" or "Aren't you self-conscious about ___ part of your body" oh and believe me it isn't just weight gaining comments. I have always fluctuated in weight - I mean which girl hasn't? Even when I was my skinniest (not by choice but because of health issues) those same people's comments were "You're so skinny", "Don't you ever eat". I have a girl friend who is currently going through skinny shaming. After losing her father and having two kids she worked her booty off to be healthy again not just physically healthy but more importantly mentally healthy too. Losing a loved one is never easy but she had determination to be happy with herself for herself. She's expressed to me how the comments never stopped. If people weren't fat shaming her they were skinny shaming her.

Quote

It isn't just weight either. People tend to body shame in general. Parts that are out of our control... some example for me are my hair, legs, bottom, I mean the list goes on and on... comments from men and women. "It must suck to not be able to reach anything" (because of my height) "Why are your eyes so big" "Why are your ankles so tiny". When did we start judging ourselves and others so harshly and why does it matter if I'm a whole foot shorter than you? It is really going to stop you from becoming a friend? Does it make me lesser of a person?

This is about to sound SO cliche but I really do mean it. Your weight on the scale, whether you can fit into last summer's shorts, and the way the mirror portrays you DOES NOT MATTER! I can't even remember the last time I stepped on the scale other than doctor visits - why? Because it does not matter! I have several mirrors in my home - one in particular where my friends call it "the skinny mirror" because for some reason it just makes you look slimmer but accents other features... don't ask me how (its a walmart floor mirror $5 nothing extravagant) But I have never tried to compare myself in that mirror - why? Because its just a mirror and it does not matter. I have a stack, literally a stack of shorts and jeans sitting in my closet because they do not fit, some of them are too long for my shorter legs or just don't fit my waist - no I am not saving them in hopes that I fit into them one day.. I just haven't made it to the donation center yet - oops! But the fact that they do not fit me does not bother me - why? Yep. Because it doesn't matter. Do I should like a broken record yet? Good. I hope so! Embed it into your mind. What others say and what you see doesn't matter. HOW YOU FEEL MATTERS!

Future so bright. Mind so right.

I have had low points in my life, I'm sure the majority if not ALL of us have. During these low points I was in the best physical shape, people around me would say how great I looked and how healthy my body looked but deep down inside I was MISERABLE and I was truly UNHAPPY. But I fed off of the glorious comments, however at the end of the day it didn't help me as a person. I continued to go down that path until I hit rock bottom (oh boy - yet another cliche)(why I spiraled out of control and how I hit rock bottom is for another post). It wasn't until I stopped to reevaluated the real meaning of me and what I wanted in life that I became genuinely happy with me. I may have love handles and baby rolls sticking out, I may have body parts that are different from others, but at the end of the day NONE of that matters. The only thing that matters is HOW I FEEL, and I can honestly say I am THE. HAPPIEST. I. HAVE. EVER. BEEN.

The negative comments I'm sure will never stop... BLAH to those people and their comments. However, if you're lucky, you will also have people in your life (like my amazing girl friends) who literally just the other day said to me "Dee, I am so proud of how far you've come in a year. You have made such huge changes and it really shows in your personality and how you act towards others" THOSE are the comments I want to focus on and to strive for. The positive comments about HOW you are as a person is what really matters at the end of the day. I mean...are you really benefiting yourself and others if your heart is leaking black tar?? Take care of who you are on the inside FIRST and the rest will follow.